Episode 256

full
Published on:

10th Sep 2026

"Be Strong: When Survival Becomes Identity"

Grace sits with Wioletta Anna Orlecka, the author of 'The Strong One.' She explores on this episode, the woven intricacies of hidden architecture of trauma - Childhood, memory, body memory, inherited silence and the way women are expected to hold everything together, whilst receiving nothing in return...

QUOTES:

“The body keeps the score.” — Bessel van der Kolk

“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” — Gabor Maté

“No one heals in isolation.” — Judith Herman

“What is silenced in one generation is often spoken in symptoms in the next.” — Ann Shulgin

"A woman who tells the truth always provokes more discomfort than the man who hurt her." 'Be Strong' - Wioletta Orlecka

"Social systems share one feature: they trust men more than exhausted women" - 'Be Strong'- Wioletta Orlecka.

"Steel is the derivatives of survival"- 'Be Strong' - Wioletta Orlecka

"Survivors create their own systems of support and own maps of survival" -'Be Strong' - Wioletta Orlecka

"A strong woman is one who was ignored long enough; learnt how to survive and thrive on her own terms." - Grace Ovba

KEY PODCAST TAKEAWAYS:

  • Strength is often mis-defined as silent endurance rather than supported survival.
  • Trauma is not only psychological—it is stored in the body and expressed through reactions, triggers, and patterns.
  • Many survivors become experts in functioning, not healing.
  • Injustice deepens when experiences are not named or witnessed.
  • Family systems can hold both love and harm simultaneously, creating emotional confusion.
  • Generational trauma often begins with silence, not violence alone.
  • Healing begins when experience is finally acknowledged without minimisation.
  • Women are often socially rewarded for endurance and punished for needing help.
  • Survival is not heroic—it is adaptive.
  • True healing requires safety, not just awareness.

JOURNAL PROMPTS:

Where in my life did I learn to equate strength with silence?

What responsibilities do I carry that no one sees or acknowledges?

When did I first feel I had to “hold everything together” alone?

What emotions did I learn to hide to stay accepted or safe?

What does my body remember that my mind avoids?

What kind of support did I need but never receive?

Where do I confuse love with endurance?

What would safety look like in my current life?

What generational patterns do I carry that I did not choose?

What would “being strong” look like if it included asking for help?

Free Book "The Strong One"- By Wioletta Anna Orlecka:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QiHzPEfhsEvAGgkPj98B0UZK9lHoT1X_/view?usp=sharing

Book a therapy and, or coaching session via my website: https://www.freedom4betterlife.com/

MBACP- Certified. (British Association For Counselling & Psychotherapy)

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About the Podcast

Rising Above Shadows Of Abuse
Society & Culture/Abuse
Rising Above Shadows Of Abuse Show with Grace Ovba, is about the topical issues of abuse prevalent in our society and culture. The impact on lives and possible reformation strategies. The show portrays real life stories of exceptional valiant women, who suffered pain, shame, trauma and guilt. Some of these individuals, used the tools of healing, forgiveness and compassion to serve as a positive propellant to actualising their dreams and breaking barriers in their various fields of human endeavours.
Each episode showcases case studies, stories, inspirational talks; involving interviews, conversations, solo/panel sessions with survivors, everyday people, professionals, charities, thought leaders and notable guests(Celebrities)
KEY TAKEAWAYS
"Abuse changes your life... Fight back and change the life of your abusers by breaking your silence on abuse" - Patty Rase Hopson
''So many people suffer abuse and suffer alone'' -Pamela Stephenson
''To those who abuse: The sin is yours, the crime is yours and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victim only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest.'' - Flora Jessop
#I take back my power
#Voice for the Voiceless
#Resilience
#Courage
#Mental health
ABOUT THE HOST - GRACE OVBA
Grace is a survivor of Domestic Violence, who is passionate about using her experiences to pave the way for other victims who are stuck in any form of abusive situations. She is a transformational coach, mentor, author, inspirational speaker and mother. She has a background in education, law and psychotherapy. She's on a mission to bring healing and wholeness to bruised and broken women.
Registered member of BACP (British Association For Counselling and Psychotherapy)
Registered member of Law Society UK
Connect via email: risingaboveshadowsofabuse@gmail.com
Social media platforms: twitter @risinaboveabuse
YouTube @risingaboveshadowsofabuse
Patreon @risingaboveshadowsofabuse.com
Support This Show

About your host

Profile picture for Grace Ovba

Grace Ovba

Grace is a Survivor of Domestic Violence, who is passionate about using her own experiences to pave the way for other abusive victims who are stuck in any form of abusive situations. She is a mentor, transformational coach, author, inspirational speaker and mother. She has a background in education, law and psychotherapy. She is on a mission to bring healing and wholeness to broken and bruised women. She is an accredited member of the British Association For Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the Law society United Kingdom.